I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize