Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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