apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
