i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
