I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
