You work out of a Hotel?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
