you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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