There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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