spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
