Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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