You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
