I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
