Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
