Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
