I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
This baby is an asshole
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
