Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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