i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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