he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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