i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
