The brown eye won't let me do that either.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
