So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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