im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
