I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
This girl is more easily done than said...
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
