i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
