Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
