i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
