i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
