...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
