Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
