There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
