i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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