Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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