I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
