What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize