i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize