I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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