Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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