You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
