just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
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