So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
