Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.

(1-248): View more from Michigan

oh yeah... my b.

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(772): View more from Florida

Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend

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(802): View more from Vermont

elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.

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(310): View more from California

something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up

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(630): View more from Illinois

He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back

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(914): View more from New York

He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.

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(916): View more from California

I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.

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