My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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