Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
