can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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