I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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