its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize