just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
