I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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