Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
