I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Porn is love you can see.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
