i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
