Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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