what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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