This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
