I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
