I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
