btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
